Discovery Channel's Alaska Experiment should have a Californian counterpoint. Unsuspecting volunteers from rural America would get dropped off in Los Angeles, forced to fend for themselves in the treacherous Southern Californian cityscape. They'd stockpile supplies of sunscreen, crushed ice, and margarita mix, preparing for the harsh summer months ahead.
For what it's worth, I'd like to think I'd be pretty great on The Alaska Experiment. I'd have a grande ole time shooting mountain goats, canning salmon, chopping firewood. The main drag though would be the minor squabbles with my partner that would get blown out of proportion in the editing room. That, and 5-to-2 odds I'd go Donner party on the cameraman by mid February.
Realistically, though, any trek of mine* to the Alaskan wilderness will end up like Into the Wild. I'll act like I'm hot shit traipsing across the tundra, before I eat some paralyzing plant and die from starvation. Box me up in pine if you find me.*
There's another "Alaska Experiment" with a whole lot less fan-fare and a whole lot more awesome. This documentary, Alone in the Wilderness, follows this salty old dog of a man who moves to Alaska in the 1960s and builds his own log cabin. The guy wasn't fucking around, he BUILT that thing with his two hands and maybe three tools. Also, another tangentially bad-ass fact about the movie, the guy shot the footage himself with an old Bolex. The movie is just narration and footage. Beautifully simple.
*Not so unrealistic.
**My uncle has stipulated in his will that his ashes are to be disbursed in Alaska. Another excellent option!
Alaskan Addendum: If John McCain wants to win the election in November, he only needs to pick Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin. This former Miss Alaska shores up the male vote with the looks, she shores up the female vote with the vagina sisterhood. Hermaphrodites are still up for grabs.
May 23, 2008
An Unceremonious Return
Post by David Laszlo Birinyi at 4:22 PM
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3 comments:
Fans of Into the Wild and Alone in the Wilderness might want to check out this wilderness survival classic about a dangerous con man who led a group of boy scouts through rugged terrain and numerous outdoor shenanigans.
Here's an important piece of advice: If it looks like it's going to be McCain/Palin anyway (and that should be a "no brainer" for Team McCain), McCain should announce NOW or VERY SOON, rather than later towards the convention. There's currently a growing chorus for Obama/Hillary (as VP) ticket (in fact the Dems are likely aware of the Palin phenomenon). If the GOP waits while movement for Hillary as VP grows -- even worse until after it is solidified that Hillary will/could be VP pick -- selecting Palin will be portrayed by Dems/liberal media more as a reaction by GOP selecting its own female (overshawdoing Palin's own remarkable assets), rather than McCain taking the lead on this. Selecting Palin now or early (contrary to the punditocracy) will mean McCain will be seen as driving the course of this campaign overwhelmingly, and the DEMS will be seen as merely reacting. And, there's absoultely no down-side to this because even if Hillary is a no-go as VP for Obama, the GOP gains by acting early. McCain the maverick. Palin the maverick. Do it now!
There's no reason, and actually substantial negative, in McCain waiting to see what the Dems do first insofar as his picking Palin as VP, because, no matter who Obama picks, Palin is by far (and I mean far) the best pick for McCain and the GOP, especially in this time of GOP woes. The GOP can be seen as the party of real 'change' (albeit I hate that mantra, change, change, bla bla), while not really having to change from GOP core conservative values, which Palin more than represents.
In light of the current oil/energy situation, as well as the disaffected female Hillary voters situation, and growing focus on McCain's age and health, Palin is more than perfect -- now.
(Perhaps Team McCain is already on to this.)
I was mostly joking about Palin, but yeah, okay. You defend the idea pretty well.
As a Democrat, I don't follow the GOP side of things as much. I can't really speak to whether Palin is actually the best fit* for McCain's ticket-- all I really know is she's a pretty, pretty lady. But if Palin is the most helpful to their cause, then yes, the Republicans have nothing to lose by announcing the pick as soon as readily possible. What the Republicans do have to lose, however, is a future talent for future elections.
It is undeniably an uphill climb against the Democratic effort this cycle. Dems have the upper hand in party identification, fundraising, cash on hand, enthusiasm, etc. It's a bad time to be Republican, and by extension a bad time to get saddled on the Republican ticket. If Palin has presidential aspirations, she'd be better served waiting for a better year. Why brand her with a high profile loss when her career is so young? Give her a profile spot at the nomination and find yourself a sacrificial lamb.
*But to parrot wiser political minds, her youth would make McCain look even older and it would prevent him from using the experience argument against Obama.
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