Fellow Dave, Duchovny

With all my time going to mapping out the move, I haven't given much time to mapping out the Dexter spec.

It's not an easy show to plot out, especially in spec form, 'cause it's a show that blends single episode plots with season arcs. The real bitch of it is that the best parts usually deal with the season long stuff. That makes it a challenge to write a stand-alone story. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a slick writing challenge. Just not now.

If I'm gonna get anything written right now (aside from this blog), I need something easy. Even with a criminology class under my belt, Dexter is not easy. But Hank Moody is.

Californication (a bad title I'll shorten to 'Forny' for fewer keystrokes) is that new Showtime series about a pissy one-hit wunder-author. I mistakenly said the show was plotless, but it's really just plodding. I was always on the fence about it 'cause it had great, sharp, bantering dialogue (and tits galore), but it never felt like it went anywhere. But it does. Just really, really slowly.

Each of the last three Forny episodes have had 16 scenes. You can give or take a scene based on personal definitions, but that's pretty consistent. And 16 just feels light to me. Compare that to a quick show like 30 Rock that manages to cut in almost twice that number of scenes. Or even to something more similar, like Entourage, which clocks in with closer to 20 scenes.

My batshit crazy theory is that the writers Tom Kapinos and Gina Fattore, who came from Dawson's Creek, figured they used to write ~32 scenes per hour and did the math to get to 16. I say it's a batshit crazy theory 'cause I've never watched Dawson's Creek and have no idea how many scenes it averaged.

What's worse is that those 16 scenes are pretty loosely grouped into a story. There was an episode where the entire B story had just 2 scenes. That's hardly a story. That's barely even a running thread. That's a callback.

I mention all this not to badmouth the show. After all, I obviously keep watching it. I may even develop a man crush for David Duchovny. I mention it, 'cause I think I can write it. Dialogue is my strength, and plot-- my kryptonite. (Maybe not kryptonite, but it's definitely not my yellow sun.) What's more, the less time I have to spend mapping out plot, the quicker I get to writing those "sharp," "crackling," "biting" Hank Moody quips.

Dexter, you know I love you, but we never said we were exclusive.